He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
