I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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