That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
