It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My apartment stinks of burning failure
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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