There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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