So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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