Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
