Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize