Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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