i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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