Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
