Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize