please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
