what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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