i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
