It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The power of my boobs compel you
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
