Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
even my farts smell like vagina
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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