I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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