He kissed a someone with a penis
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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