i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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