R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I want to have your abortion
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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