i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
