The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
