The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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