I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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