Kareoke will never be a sober sport
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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