in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
