thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
