she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
