Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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