At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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