my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
