If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
