You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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