i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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