bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
