Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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