what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
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After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
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is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
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