I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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