It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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