HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize