i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
