This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
