I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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