I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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