sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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