Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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