Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize