remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So vagazzling was a success
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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