well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
