do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
