I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
