the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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