Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
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How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize