And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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