He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
