you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
