I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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