dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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